Not Alone
by Rubberband Girl
Summary: The Tenth Doctor visits the one person he knows will understand.


The man is hunched over, dark circles under his eyes. His face is thin, long, one of a man who has seen everything and regretted it. He is sick – she knows a sick man when she sees one – but not of the disease. He is sick of something more, of poison and time.

"Can I help you, Sir?"

He looks up at her, his eyes dark and heavy. He smiles at the sight of her, his face suddenly alight. "Hello, Nyssa."

"Um, hello, Sir. How did –"

"Long story – well, not really, it's pretty simple, you've seen me regenerate, don't need to explain the whole process. Really quite convenient, having you see my regeneration – takes out a lot of questions in one fell swoop –"

"Doctor?"

He chuckles, his smile growing even wider. "Yes, it's me, Nyssa. I'm on my tenth body – ninth regeneration. I've regenerated five times since you left – haven't been a ginger yet, though."

She feels her stomach slide into her shoes, her breath leaving her body. All of the memories come back, painful and wonderful all at once. She finds herself growing weak, and she desperately gropes for a chair. He gets up, takes her elbow, and awkwardly sits her down. He is limping, staggering back to his seat.

"Doctor," Nyssa gasps, regaining her breath, "Doctor, what's the matter? You're limping."

"Yes." His face falls, his voice soft. "I'm regenerating, Nyssa. Very slowly. I'm dying from radiation. And it's not a quick, painless death, like the one you saw." He sighs, closing his eyes.

Nyssa purses her lips, wrapping her hand in his. "I wish I could help you somehow."

"Just let me sit with you a bit. You know, I do miss traveling with you, Nyssa," he says.

"Oh, Doctor, I'm just one of dozens."

"Yes. But I missed you. That's why I made sure to come back and see you. And Tegan, and Turlough."

"And Adric?" she asks, quickly.

"No." He looks down. "I wanted to, Nyssa, but I was so afraid that I would slip up, say something, do something." His voice is tight with tears.

Nyssa squeezes his hand, knowing the pain too well. They sit in silence for a second, a quiet, sad peace passing between them.

"Have you gone to Gallifrey?" she asks, kindly. She feels tension in his hand, a quick jerk in his wrist.

"No." He turns and looks to her, his eyes clouded.

She knows the soft, sad look in his eyes all too well. She's seen it in her own, when she looks in the mirror; the look of a person haunted by unattainable memories. She feels tears rise up to her own eyes, hot and heavy. She pulls him into her arms, thin and fragile.

"Oh, Nyssa, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Live with the thought they're gone?"

She breaks the hug, keeping him close. She takes both hands in hers, looks deeply into his brown eyes. "Well, it's either die or live, isn't it? And I'd rather live, for the sake of my people."

"It's so hard. I had no idea before…I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"So am I, Doctor."

"I would set the TARDIS to Terminus a few times, to try to visit you, but she never let me go. Always dropping me off somewhere else. But she let me this time."

"Well, she always knew what you needed," Nyssa says. She squeezes his hands, and he clutches tightly. He has never been so open to touch before. He looks at her, the haunted, hungry look still in his eyes.

"You know, Doctor, you may be the last of the Time Lords, but you're not alone," she quietly states. He smiles, lines creasing his face.

"Oh, Nyssa. I forgot how brilliant you were. Absolutely brilliant." He chuckles, then clutches his side, hissing in pain.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do, Doctor? I'm sure there's something for radiation poisoning – in fact, I remember reading something –"

"Nyssa, it's too late. You can't help me," he groans, bending over. "I take that back – you can help me with one more thing."

"What?"

"Help me back to the TARDIS." He looks back at her, pained and feeble.

"Of course, Doctor." She takes his arm and wraps it around her shoulder. His feet drag along limply, as he stumbles and sputters across Terminus.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here when you regenerate, Doctor?" she asks. She sees the big blue box up ahead. Her second home. "I imagine it would be a more ideal place than the TARDIS."

"No. I still have one more companion to say good-bye to," he replies. They stop in front of the TARDIS, leaning him against it. Nyssa looks over it. It is battle-worn, but it still the same, sturdy block of time and space.

"Nyssa?"

"Yes, Doctor?"

He leans over, close to her face, and kisses her cheek. She smiles, sadly, as he pulls away and opens the door. He tries to keep a brave face, waving good-bye. She closes her eyes as the familiar wheezing sound fills the air.


End file.
